23rd November 2017

The wind has risen in Londres, and no nook or cranny is entirely still. Standing in the sun with the wind in my face is exhilarating. I can feel winter approaching, but it is a natural and friendly process, happening at precisely the right time. I have been recovering today from a difficult day yesterday – an anniversary of bad memories. I got in touch with my family, many of whom were upset. But as the Dancy Meditator reminded me, there is nothing wrong with being upset when bad things happen. We have a tendency to want to encourage people out of being upset, but is that for our own sake as much as theirs? Perhaps being upset is just where they need to be now.

Last night I went to the Field for the first time in a long time. It was good to be back among the warm buzz of people, some strangers, some well-known. The Red Flash, who is most responsible for pulling the project back together, was busy trying to recruit people to help run it. There genuinely are rewards to the work involved in such projects, but it can be hard to persuade people of that. Even I am staying out of it until the new year.

I have spent part of the day contributing to online debates in certain circles I am part of. This is a strange process in which text accumulates and it is hard to be sure if knowledge does at the same time. While I’ve got much out of the online world, I can’t deny the de-personalising aspects of it, the lack of emotion carried in words, or the excess of emotion, the lack of eye contact, the coldness. The future has not yet learned to live in the future. I wonder if we’ll look back in a few decades time and wonder at the sheer lack of etiquette, the faith in words, the talking past each other. One would hope so. The season has changed too fast and we have not yet made skates for ourselves.

23rd November 2017